The Matrix

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Our agency recently compiled a matrix of the services we offer. Why?  Because we learned that even some of our longest-running clients and closest media partners weren’t aware of everything we do.

Now, I’ve been with Staples for a long time. Just over 14 years, actually. And even I was surprised by the matrix. From focus groups to restroom advertising, we really do-do it all. Pun intended, because I started looking back at all the crazy things I’ve been part of for the sake of getting the job done. The types of things that won’t make the matrix because, chances are, we’ll never have to do them again.

For me, one of the strangest by-far was to put on my swim suit one chilly autumn morning, jump into the pool at Greenfield Park, and help corral hundreds of piles of plastic dog doo for a photo shoot. Let me tell you something about plastic dog doo and water, every little movement creates a tsunami that sends plastic dog doo scattering like they’re little motorboats. It was everywhere. And this particular morning, it was my job to use my 6-ft wingspan to keep these little bombs in the vicinity of where they needed to be.

Like I said, this is the kind of stuff that won’t make the matrix. If it did, it would be right under “Website Hosting” and be called: “Weird Stuff We’d Rather Not Talk About. Ever.”  But if it means getting the perfect photo of a little girl going down a waterslide into a pool filled with water that’s been polluted by lawn fertilizer and dog doo, we’ll do it.

By God we really do-do it all.

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